oh please give me this moment.
im not even going to begin writing on how wonderful and amazing and unforgettable my birthday was. because its just not. it was special. wonderful greetings, gifts, hugs, thoughtful messages. that's it. it was special, but that's all it will be.
the birthday felt special, but i didnt.
on a different day, i may not be saying this. but this is what im feeling right now.
im tired of saying everything is okay. im tired of smiling for the sake of appearing okay. im tired of hating. im tired of always being the "bad one" in the eyes of my brothers. im tired of pleasing them. im tired of not being contented. im tired of putting my mask every single day. im tired of living. im just really tired of being tired.
it feels like nothing will ever goes right. like everything is wrong. all wrong. im all wrong.
i hate this feeling. like pessimism is eating me alive.
Sunday, August 1, 2010 @ 1:33:00 PM / comments
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