Sometimes, I get this eerie flashbacks in my head.

I was walking home today, and suddenly I just remember Dad. Its like life slapped me and I just realized I've been walking home alone for 8 months now. I felt so scared and lonely. And I just can't breathe, you know? I had to stop and clear my head or else I'm going to have a break down right before I got inside our house. And I just can't have that. 

Same thing happened last week. I was in school, then I just remember that I left my homework and I have this itching feeling to call Dad so he can bring it to me, but then I realized he can't. He no longer can. And I was so mad that I wanted to cry. But I didn't. 

I remember him even when I was just buying Mt.dew. 

It's like all my life Dad was always there. He was always just a text away. You know? That's why I still send him text messages up to now. It's crazy but, its what keeps me sane. 

I even play in my head our last time together all the time. He cooked dinner for me that night, you see. He cooked for me because I didn't want to eat our other viand. Ang arte ko kase. And I didn't even say thank you to him. Or even a goodnight when he went to sleep. I didn't realized it was the last time I'll ever saw him. The last time he'll cook for me. The last time someone will tolerate me being a brat. I just didn't realized, you know?