Friends with benefits?
I thought you were falling for me, you know? I thought we were falling for each other. It was oh so beautiful and perfect for me. The anticipation of who'll make the first move. I was right on the edge and ready to fall all the way. One more tiny push and I'm all yours. But you just had to blew it right?
Along with your confusion and indecisiveness, you suddenly chose to drop me. Maybe along the way, you realize how unworthy I am of you. How I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough, or even funny enough for your standards.
Would it be pathetic of me now to admit that I had fallen in love with you? That I think I still am in love with you? Now that out of the blue, you have her.
All along, I thought you were just waiting for the right time, that you were just confused and trying to sort out your feelings for me. But boy was I wrong. I was so wrong about you, about me, about us (Or lack thereof).
I don't really even know why, but my insecurity is killing me, so I chose to think that you chose her because she is pretty and smart and can make you laughed all the time. All those things I obviously can't be.
I've tried so hard to hide my feelings for you all those time we were hanging out together, but now I wish you can just read my crazy mind and know that I am hurting and I cannot tolerate being around you anymore because you already have her... because I don't know how to move on if you're still always there making the same jokes and doing the same things for me.
And darling trust me when I say that I wanted all this yucky feelings to go away already because I really cannot afford to lose you in any way. If you think that its friendship that will makes us last longer, then I am willing that give it to you.
Thursday, September 20, 2012 @ 12:53:00 AM / comments
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