Bipolar
Second semester is about to start and I just felt the need to write before I became all so busy again. Hehe. I know I know I never write even if I'm not busy.
Its been 2 weeks since sembreak started, and it would have been a productive break for me (I was planning on going to the gym and doing everything to be pretty in every way. How vain I know! Heh) if it wasn't for my unexpected wisdom tooth extraction which hurts so much I would've preferred another heartache over it. Haha! Seriously though, I was not able to eat well for almost a week, and I was constantly bitching to my mother about it because that's just how I am when it comes to my mum and you know its also pms okay.
Also, one of my friend suggested I add this cute guy on facebook which happens to be a professor in our school and college department. And you know what? I did add him because I am such a girl and then he accepted me and even sent me a message that I almost died and went to heaven! And we've been chatting for 2 days now. Heh. I mean, can you blame me? He's a professor of Aeronautical engineering! And he's a pilot! Hesucristo. If that didn't convince you then we're not on the same page. Hahaha! Kidding. But seriously, I just really enjoy talking to him because it excites me that a teacher can be such a normal person and flirt, and he seems smart and I like smart people very much. Its not an Aria-Ezra kind of thing okay.
Lastly, I'm just so sad and mad(mostly just sad really) that a certain someone can mean so much to you, and then in an instant he's just not. It makes me sad that I used to talked to him everyday and tell him almost everything, and then in a snap, there's suddenly this massive space between us. I don't know what to blame. I don't know what happened. I got very depressed at first, and as each day passed by, I became more accepting and just not care anymore(Lie!!!). It was hard but I guess even friends break up.
I used to think we were better off as friends, but now I don't know anymore. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi nga ba? I enjoyed his company so much that I could not bear the thought of not being silly together as friends you know. He was very special to me(and I felt that I was special too to him) that I even made my own version of a lover's dictionary of him ala David Levithan(I am pathetic huh). But then things happened, a lot of things actually, and suddenly I looked at him and not know him anymore. I thought how that's such a fictional novel thing-y to say but it happened. And its making me nocturnal in the sense that you may never know.
And yes I did sent him a message tonight how I suddenly miss him because its the truth and it's what I am feeling at this moment. And he replied and told me how he misses me too and how we're not going to be seeing much of each other anymore because we're not going to be classmates and all that and its just makes me super sad that's why I am writing in this poor excuse of a blog. I mean, we have worked it out before, but I guess he just doesn't want me to be in his life right now or so I want to believe. I did not reply but God knows I've been staring at his message for a long time now. Ugh I hate being attached!
Okay I need a good cry now or a bar of chocolate. Bye.
Labels: Personal
Monday, October 29, 2012 @ 12:35:00 AM / comments
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