Again.
Subconsciously decided to write again. I guess this time, yet again, is for my own sanity as well as to have proof that it did happened, or I did felt it. It sure is nice going down memory lane, especially when one is at its limit.
Been feeling like a lonesome goldfish in a small bowl lately. It's like no matter how much I swim all over the place, I'm still not moving on and/or going anywhere. Added with the emotional baggage of my Dad's birthday yesterday (I was so depressed because I didn't get to visit him). All I really wanted is to spend it crying in bed, possibly the whole day, but nope, reality did not allow me to do that and instead made me go to school from 10 am to 8 pm. Not to mention, I was deeply affected by the victims and tragedy caused by Yolanda! Watching the news is heartbreaking. Obviously, yesterday is all about me bawling my eyes out. Jeez I am fucked up badly, I don't know if its the pms making it worse or what.
Today is really bad as well. All I want is to stay in bed the whole day (again) and stare at the wall and talked to no one. But of course reality ruins everything and so I had to go to school and deal with people, ugh. Even my mother seems to be upset with me today. I don't even know if it is me ignoring her, or her ignoring me.
Second semesters really have a way of fucking up my life. Seriously.
And I swear I hate sounding like a whiny teenager who can't seem to make something out of her life, but ugh life happens. I mean, I'm not even really a "teenager" anymore. I'm twenty for crying out loud! But ugh, I guess, same old.
Thank God for the comfort of writing in this blog brings, or else I might explode yet again.
Labels: Personal
Wednesday, November 13, 2013 @ 1:16:00 AM / comments
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